I’ve been reading a book called Last Child in the Woods:  Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder by Richard Louv, and it has really made me think a lot more about the importance of the outdoors and experiential learning in childhood development.

One of the major points of the book is that children need unstructured play in nature to help them develop confidence, self-esteem, and spirituality.  Children who spend time in direct contact with nature instead of playing video games, watching tv, or listening to their iPods are more likely to be able to cope with difficult family issues and succeed in school.  Additionally, nature can be an aid in helping kids deal with ADHD.  Louv cites a study that indicates that every hour of tv that preschool aged kids watch each day makes it 10% more likely that they will develop ADHD.  Rather than watching tv, children should be developing their imaginations and a sense of wonder in the natural world.

I’ve thought a lot about the effects of tv lately.  Don’t get me wrong, I watch tv, not a lot, but I’m not a hater.  However, I don’t think it’s good for kids, especially preschool-aged children.  In speaking with a couple of other stay-at-home moms, I have come to realize that a lot of us have the tv on all day–just as noise.  I find that interesting:  why do we need noise?  An even better question is this:  why do we want to teach our infants that they need noise to avoid boredom?  When I worked at a daycare a few years ago, preschool-aged kids NEVER watched tv.  Isn’t it interesting that kids who stay at home are more likely to be watching tv all day than kids who go to daycare?  Now, I’m not saying that it would be better to send your kid to daycare than to have them at home with the tv on.  I’m just trying to evaluate the use of tv and other electronics in the homes of stay-at-home mothers.

Because Kirsten is at home with me, I have a unique opportunity to help her develop creativity and learn in ways that other children don’t get because they are one of many at a daycare.  Do I want to squander the opportunity we have by plopping her in front of the tv to watch Tangled for the third time in a row?  (I honestly don’t judge you if you’ve done this.  It’s tough being a mom, especially when said child (me) is begging to watch The Lion King again.)  Kirsten is still young, and I don’t know what crazy stuff is in store for us.  However, in my state of high ideals, I want to help Kirsten learn to think about the world differently than her peers.  I don’t want her to be a Watcher.  I want her to be a Doer and a Creator.  Of course, ultimately she gets to pick what she becomes.

The summer after I graduated from high school, I remember feeling a little down.  I’d made a lot of friends the last two years of high school, which was wonderful, but I was bummed because all we ever did was watch movies.  I got stuck in this vision of life where all human beings ever tried to do was get done with their work as quickly as possible, so that they could entertain themselves.  But somehow entertainment seemed lack luster to me at that time.  It wasn’t satisfying.  I rarely felt like I had connected with anyone when all we did was watch something together.  Life isn’t about entertaining ourselves:  it’s about experiencing each moment.  I think the best way to experience each moment to the fullest is to work at something of eternal consequence, such as parenthood, missionary work, temple work, serving those in need, and yes, wholesome recreational activities, especially in nature.

Finally, I want to reiterate that these are just musings, not judgments =)

At the duckpond--also, look at that adorable curl on her neck

This is not in nature, but I like how much she likes my music box.

Last week during the Sacrament, I felt the Spirit rest inside of me as he reminded me how much Jesus loves little children.  When the disciples tried to keep the little children and infants away from Christ, Jesus responded by saying, “Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not:  for such is the kingdom of God” (Luke 18:10).  I have personally learned two parenting techniques from the Savior’s words and actions:  Unlike His disciples, Christ understood that children, in their innocence, have much to teach us about the kingdom of Heaven, and He also understood that it is extremely important for little children to have spiritual experiences from the very beginning of their lives, so that they can gain an understanding of the kingdom of Heaven.

As I watch Kirsten grow and learn, I, too, am learning to see the world in a new way–or an old, forgotten way.  A couple of weeks ago, Kirsten and I went to the grocery store, and when we got out of the car, it was really windy.  At first I tried to shield her from the wind as best I could, and then I realized that she was purposefully turning into the wind and gulping it in.  She would shriek in delight each time.  Honestly, it has been a long time since I realized how exciting wind can be, but as I watched her enjoy the wind, I couldn’t help thinking of a time when I was walking home from middle school in early spring.  The wind was blowing in quick, strong gusts through the trees and disheveling my hair.  I felt simultaneously at peace and invigorated.  Although I have had that experience with the wind many times throughout my life, Kirsten reminded me that I could even feel that way as a grown up in the Walmart parking lot.  I love rediscovering the world with my daughter.  Her excitement is infectious, and I believe that when Christ said that little children are of the Kingdom of Heaven, He meant that they could teach adults to enjoy creation in an innocent and virtuous way.

It is a miracle and a blessing to witness a child learn about the world, and when people tell me that as a mother I’m doing something that they could never do or would never want to do, I think to myself, “If you really knew what I’m doing, what I witness each day, and the feelings of love that have developed in my heart for my little girl, you wouldn’t pity me.  You would envy me.”  That’s not to say that it’s easy to be a mom or that every moment is filled with “maternal bliss,” but any success I ever had in school or in my jobs pales in comparison to the moments of “maternal bliss” that I get to experience each day.

I do, however, want to make it clear that when I was taking the Sacrament last week, I was not pondering the Savior’s love for children in absolute silence and peace.  In fact, I’m pretty sure Kirsten was trying to climb down on the floor to grab the IPod that another baby had dropped in the aisle.  Both babies couldn’t keep their eyes off of that bright blue object lying on the floor, and it was all I could do to keep my baby from crawling away from me and disrupting the Sacrament, but despite her youthful exuberance, I could feel the Spirit.  Actually, in this instance, it was because of her youthful exuberance that I felt the Spirit.

Some people, including the disciples of old, believe that children should be quiet and circumspect if they are going to go to church, and since it is impossible to make infants be quiet, some would suggest that babies don’t belong at church.  However, I am glad that I belong to a church that encourages families to bring their little babies.  Yes, I have found it difficult to attend church with Kirsten, but despite the difficulty, I know how important it is for her and her parents to be there.

It’s important for children to have significant spiritual experiences.  The experiences of childhood mold and shape who we will be as adults, and even though Kirsten doesn’t understand what’s going on at church, she does recognize patterns, places, people, and feelings.  If we make church attendance a habit, it will be a pattern that she recognizes.  Furthermore, when we attend church, she sees her neighbors and her babysitters, and she will eventually come to think of them as friends.  Becoming part of a community is so important for children (and adults) because it helps them develop appropriate trust.  Finally, I don’t think anyone is ever too young to feel the Spirit.  Actually, Kirsten may very well be closer to the Spirit than I am.  All she lacks at this point are the words to express her feelings, and when she does gain those words, I want her to have already had a multitude of experiences with the Spirit at church, at home, and in nature.

Spring has made its debut here in Springville, and I have discovered that there is a lot to do in our yard.  I started with the rosebush by our front door because it has been embarrassing me all winter.  It basically looked like a weed, and right now I am wishing that I had taken a picture of it to document the sad neglect that it suffered at our hands.  However, as most of the people who read this blog have come to our house, I’m sure you noticed the terrible, tall rosebush.  You’ll just have to remember it though because now it is trimmed back nicely.

After I finished with that rosebush, I looked around only to realize that there were three more right in front of our house.  When I finished those, I trimmed the three on our side lawn.  At that point, I had to stop because Kirsten woke up from her nap.  This frenzy of rosebush trimming went on for a week, and Matt still had to finish the last four on Saturday.

Now that all the rosebushes are trimmed, I want to kill the morning glory that is taking over the flower bed next to our front door, but I can’t seem to pull it up.  So, I guess I’ll have to look up how to effectively kill morning glory.  Funny, when I was a little girl, I planted morning glory in my garden patch at home.  I didn’t know it was a weed.  I just thought it was pretty.  It was also nice because I didn’t have to do much to take care of it.  Even though it is pretty, I don’t want it in my yard now because it’s smothering my daffodils, and the daffodils are one of the few flowers that I actually recognize.

In all honesty, I still don’t know what needs to come up and what doesn’t.  I need someone who knows what they’re doing to come over and tutor me in gardening.  Also, please convince my industrious and loving husband that we don’t need to plant a vegetable garden this year.  We have no idea what we’re doing with what we already have out there, and I don’t want to have the responsibility for figuring out how to consume all of the vegetables that our garden may or may not produce.  Who wants to spend all that time chopping them anyway?

This blog entry may sound like I”m stressed out about the yard.  I’m not.  It was actually really nice to trim the rosebushes last week because I got to spend some time outside and accomplish something.  It was a lot of work, and I feel proud of myself.  I just wish I knew what I was doing, so that my yard could look pristine and well-manicured like our neighbors’.  Of course, they own a landscaping business.  So, I really can’t compare =)

Now for some pictures of my little helper:

Enjoying the sunshine and paper.

For the past couple of months, I have been pondering a scripture from Second Nephi.  In chapter two, Lehi is talking to his son Jacob about the Plan of Salvation.  In verses 11 and 12, Lehi talks about the importance of opposition.  The verses read:

“For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things.  If not so, my first-born in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad.  Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one;  wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility.  Wherefore, it must needs have been created for a thing of naught; wherefore there would have been no purpose in the end of its creation.  Wherefore, this thing must needs destroy the wisdom of God and his eternal purposes, and also the power and the mercy, and the justice of God.”

In the past, I have primarily focused on how we need opposition, i.e., we need misery to understand happiness.   I can think of times in my life when I have taken happiness, or the conditions that might create happiness, for granted because I hadn’t yet experienced enough opposition.  Later, when that opposition became more readily available, I could look back and realize that I should have been happier with what I had.  Yet, the very idea that “I should have been happier” indicates that I was not perfectly happy, even though I was living in the conditions that I would expect to make me happy.

Because we are never perfectly happy in this life, even when hindsight might make the past look ideal, it has finally occurred to me that the opposition is not chronological.  We don’t have periods of misery followed by periods of joy.  Rather, as Lehi says, “All things must needs be a compound in one.”  In other words, the very same time in our lives must have joy and misery or else those experiences “destroy the wisdom of God and his eternal purposes.”

God has put us on this earth to learn and grow, and He tailors our mortal experiences to help us in this endeavor.   If His “eternal purpose” is to “bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39), why would He ever give us an experience that was entirely perfect?  If high school, my mission, getting married, motherhood, or getting a dog were perfect in every way, life would be too easy, and I would never learn anything.  If I didn’t learn anything, I wouldn’t be able to gain eternal life.

Conversely, there is no experience that is all bad.  God would never ask us to experience something that had nothing redeemable about it.  The death of a loved one, for example, is an experience that causes those who are left behind to grieve.  Especially if the death is untimely, it may seem that there is no joy in the experience, but because God is merciful, there must be a silver lining.  I won’t attempt to point out other people’s silver linings because I believe that everybody has to find their own happiness.  It would sound cliche or trite coming from me, but I do know that when I’ve had difficult periods in my life, I often find the joy in what I’ve learned from the experience.

At any rate, anyone who has decided to read this far is sure to know that I’ve been particularly focusing on how “all things must needs be a compound in one” because of my, yes, I would say difficult adjustment to motherhood.  I feel that I’ve adjusted now, and with the help of this scripture, I have come to realize that even though there will always be something to worry about, there will always be so much more to be joyous about.  Of course, that’s easy to say right now when I feel like everything is pretty perfect =)

Now I’m going to share some pictures, but I want to point out that I have only taken pictures of the joyous moments.  One time a friend of mine looked at the pictures from my mission and said that it looked like  I had had a very nice vacation.  She couldn’t believe that I had actually worked.  I responded that I had decided not to take pictures of the times I was crying on the floor because someone who I loved dearly had decided not to accept the Gospel.  I guess it’s fair that we like to document the good times, right?

Family Home Evening. Penny was sitting on the piano bench with me. Shortly after I took this picture, she used my back as a scratching post. lol

We took Porter for a Sunday walk and loved to see how happy he was as he ran in the creek.

My parents came for my grandmother's funeral. It was so nice to see them.

For the past several nights when I’ve been putting Kirsten to bed, she has not protested at all.  When I leave her room, she is smiling, and within a couple of minutes she is sound asleep.  Tonight, for example, I gave Kirsten a bath, which is always a ton of fun.  I especially enjoy that she can sit up in the bathtub and play with her bath toys.  After her bath, I took her in her room, and Penny followed us because she is terrified that Porter, our new dog, might chase her.  I put lotion on Kirsten, put on a fresh diaper, and sang to her while I dressed her in her sleeper.  Then we sat down in the glider, and I nursed her.  We said a prayer together, and then Matt came in to say goodnight.  I read her a column from the Book of Mormon and Goodnight Moon.  Then I hugged her, kissed her, put her in her crib, and covered her with her pink bunny blanket.  Kirsten was smiling and talking the whole time.  After putting her in the crib, I had to get Penny out from under the crib, which proved to be challenging, and Kirsten was confused by what I was doing.  She rolled onto her tummy and peered through the slats in her crib to get a better view.  After a little bit of coaxing, I was able to get Penny out, and when Kirsten saw the cat, she laughed.  I patted Kirsten on the tummy, said, “I love you,” and turned off the light as I left the room.

I like leaving the room with Kirsten still awake and happy, but I like that she can shut down and go to sleep within a couple of minutes even more.  It’s been a long hard journey to get here, but I’d say “sleep training” has really paid off for us.  She is such a happy and well-rested baby.  She takes two naps almost everyday now and rarely cries.  I’m really grateful that I followed my gut and the promptings of Spirit to let Kirsten learn how to fall asleep on her own.

One thing I’ve discovered about Kirsten through this and other experiences is that she likes to do things on her own, and sometimes she gets frustrated when I try to help.  I remember when she was about two months old, I would rock her to sleep, and when she was almost asleep, she would suddenly jerk awake, look at me, and cry.  I  had the distinct impression that she was thinking, “What are you still doing here?  Just let me go to sleep!”  It made me feel helpless at the time, but when she got a little older, I gave her the opportunity to learn to fall asleep.  Now she’s a pro!

On an unrelated note, we got a dog.  It is an adjustment since I’ve never had a dog before, and I definitely would not call myself a dog person.  However, Porter is a pretty good dog, and he is growing on me.  I’m not quite used to having him follow me everywhere I go, but I guess I”ll get used to it.  My biggest concern is actually for Penny.  I feel so bad for her because this dog has come and taken over her territory.  She is very insecure, but I have hopes that she will learn that Porter isn’t really a threat.  He is a pretty well-behaved dog and only wants to make friends with her, but of course, her instincts aren’t telling her that.

Kirsten rolling from the living room to the kitchen. She's so talented!

Matt loving Porter

Today when I went visit teaching we talked about how the world doesn’t give you much glory for being a mom.  You do a lot of things over and over again, and, yes, they seem small and insignificant.  At this point, I do almost everything for Kirsten.  I change her diaper.  I nurse her.  I change her clothes.  I bring a spoon to her mouth to feed her solids.  I bathe her.  I sing to her.  I read to her.  I carry her.  I cuddle with her.  I get up with her in the middle of the night.  Yet, even in the short time she’s been in my life, she has become increasingly independent.  Now she can sit on her own.  She can roll to her destination, which is so much fun.  While I cook dinner, she can entertain herself for a few minutes.  Best of all, she can fall asleep on her own!  Within the last eight months, the  tasks that I do everyday have helped Kirsten learn to become more independent.  It is a slow process, which is good for mommy and baby.  I wouldn’t want her to be completely independent quite yet, and I’m sure after eighteen years I’ll still feel the same way.

When I was feeding Kirsten today, she actually drank water out of her sippy cup, which surprised me.  I’ve been giving it to her after every meal for the last three weeks or so, and she has only played with it.  Today, though, it suddenly clicked, and she drank water.  I still had to tip the cup back, so that she could get the water out, but she sucked and swallowed.  It was exciting to see her drink, and it occurred to me that at some point my own mother taught me how to drink from a cup.  I didn’t learn how to do it in one day, I’m sure.  In fact, I don’t even remember the learning process, but I do remember the first time I got a glass out of the cupboard and poured myself a glass of milk.  I felt so independent and told my mom about it with great pride.  More than a decade later, I went away to college and actually used my own money to buy the milk that I drank from my own cups that I kept in my own cupboard in my own apartment.

Wow!  I became independent, and now I’m in a position to teach my own baby all of the life skills that she needs to thrive in this world–and the next.  I’d have to say that considering the weight of the daily tasks I complete, motherhood is a pretty glorious job.  The world might not give me much recognition, and Kirsten might never fully understand all I’ve done for her, just as I can’t know all my own mother did and does for me.  Yet, God knows, and He is pleased.

Now for the good part . . . pictures!

Opening Christmas presents

She loved the bows!

Today we played with some untearable toilet paper that Matt got as a white elephant gift. She didn't know what to make of it, but I thought she was pretty cute.

The word “break” is definitely a misnomer, but we had a wonderful time celebrating Christmas and New Year’s with our family in Georgia and Tennessee despite all the work it is to travel with a baby.

When we first arrived in Atlanta,   Kirsten had a lot of stranger anxiety, or as I’ve recently heard it termed, “stranger danger.”  Naturally, it was overwhelming for her to be in a new place with lots of new people.  She had met her Uncle Jake a month before at Thanksgiving, but within the first few minutes of arriving in Atlanta, she met Uncle Drew, his girl friend Hilary, Beth, and Benjamin.  To top it all of she was tired and hungry.  Considering the circumstances, I understand why she was so overwhelmed.

After a couple of days, Kirsten was willing to leave my arms and play with her Poppa and Beth.  Of course, Benjamin, her 20 month old uncle, was excited to see a baby in house.  He would run up to Kirsten and say “Baby, baby, baby” again and again.  It was really cute, but it made both mothers kind of nervous.  Kirsten was amused though.

Aside from Kirsten not sleeping well, the trip was relaxing and fun.  It was mostly nice for me to get to know the rest of Matt’s family better.  I’ve gotten to know Michelle on several occasions, but I haven’t had the opportunity to spend much time with Marc, Jake, Drew, and Beth.  It’s kind of funny to be married to someone and feel like you don’t know their family very well.  After all, a person’s family has such a big influence on who he or she becomes.  I guess, what I’m trying to say is that I got to know Matt better because I got to know his family better.  They really like action movies A LOT, and now I’m really grateful that Matt will watch movies like Little Women with me when he was raised in a family of all boys.

After a week in Atlanta, Kirsten and I went up to Knoxville to spend a week with Nana and PawPaw.  Yes, Kirsten’s grandfathers both have very similar names, but notice that the spelling is different, which indicates that the pronunciation is slightly different, too.  It will, however, be quite some time before Kirsten’s ear and tongue are attuned to the difference.

We had fun with them, and because there were fewer people to stimulate her, Kirsten was able to sleep a little bit better, which made me happy.  At any rate, I’ve found that our little baby is a lot more flexible than we give her credit for.  She can stay up for five hours in the middle of the night without letting it phase her the next day.  Would that I could respond to sleep deprivation in the same way.  Now that we’re home, I’m trying to help her return to her previous sleep schedule, and although I’m having some difficulty achieving my goal, I do believe we’ll reach it . . . someday.

Our new daughter was born on May 22nd, 2011 at 11:53.  She was 7 pounds and 18 1/2 inches long, and she is extremely adorable.

Whitney and baby are both doing very well.  The delivery went very smoothly, and everyone was given a clean bill of health throughout our time at the hospital.  We are all back home now and resting.  We were a little bit worried about how Penny would handle the change, but she seems to be adjusting quite nicely.

Whitney’s mother will be staying with us for awhile to help out with the baby, and we couldn’t be more grateful.  My mother will be coming in a few weeks, and we also can’t wait for her to visit.

[Show as slideshow]

On Wednesday we got an ultrasound, and thankfully the baby is healthy!  We also found out that she’s a girl, which is exciting.  Kirsten Marie Ehle is supposedly going to be born on June 4, but we will see when she actually decides to come.

I’ve already been out shopping for baby clothes and have taken great delight in things like a little pink sleeper with monkey feet.  I can hardly believe that we’ll have a little human to put in that sleeper before long!

Whitney and I got to enjoy a very wholesome and fun weekend together.  On Friday, we had dinner at Applebee’s and watched Shrek at the dollar theater.  As we expected, it was extremely funny.  Puss in boots was the best!  Here is a little visual…

Who could reject this face?

On Saturday, we went to see the Divine Comedy alumni show. The show was incredibly hilarious.  Whitney and I haven’t laughed like that in a long time.  Whitney loved the Les Misérables spoof and the LDS Singles infomercial (best rendition of “Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree” ever!).  I really liked the Wishbone spoof.   Actually, we both loved the whole performance.

After DC, we enjoyed some ice cream at Cold Stone, which we haven’t been to in quite some time.  Hard to believe the entire weekend cost $12.  Thank goodness for good connections!